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Includes Paying Markets! By Katy Terrega This e-book has EVERYTHING the aspiring porn writer needs to know! Click on http://www.katyterrega.com/dirtyjob.html for chapter headings and excerpts. Or order here - http://www.KatyTerrega.com/orderebook.html ========================================= Hope you all had a happy and safe Halloween! As we were carving pumpkins this year I realized that my days of trick or treating with my family are numbered; at 10 and 11 my kids'll be growing out of it soon, I fear. 'Course, that's not the half of it; with "only" eight or so years to go before they fly the coop, I find myself already experiencing anticipatory empty nest syndrome. Pretty pathetic, eh?! It's just that once these phases are gone - infancy, toddlerhood, Santa Claus and the like - they're gone for good. All I can do now, I guess, is to take lots of pictures and try to enjoy each phase as long as I can! Yes, we finally had a winner of the hastily thrown together Anniversary Contest! Baby Mako was the 82nd reader to reply and is now the owner of a copy of "It's a Dirty Job..." You can check out his site at http://hasmako.com As for the rest of the business news... Thomas Myer of BrilliantSmut.com has written another great article for us, this one about the art of writing erotic humor. (I think I lost another article - in the crash - that was set to run in the next few weeks. If it was yours email me! And in the meantime back up those files.) We've got a ton of Goings On - watch especially for Magdalene Meretrix's appearance on To Tell The Truth today - and some great Market Listings. Also, we've got a call from a reader about erotic horror/sci/fi/fantasy markets (Renee, email me!) and I talk about May/September markets in Q and A. Enjoy this issue and please keep in touch! Katy The UK writers' resource website and monthly ezine linking to paying markets, contests, reference sites, writing articles, software reviews and much more! http://www.writelink.co.uk ===========================================
So what does it take to be a successful writer of erotic humor? The same kind of stuff that makes for a successful erotica writer, even the same stuff that makes for a successful writer, period: Complete and total mastery of the English language. Humor writing is very difficult. It's much harder than non-humor (a catch-all category that covers everything from the quotidian to the tragic). Anyone out there can make someone cry at the tale of star-crossed lovers from different sides of a family feud. Anyone can make someone cringe at the brutality of war on the front lines. But can you take those same subjects and make people laugh? Can you take the drudgery of everyday life and make it funny? Can you make sex funny? If you can, then you have a gift, one that should be cherished. At all times, but especially bad times, we want to laugh. Laughter cleanses and heals, makes us forget. Let's circle back around to the mastery of language bit. Without total mastery of the language, then you won't be funny in print. Why? Well, you don't have voice inflections to help you (think George Carlin and W.C. Fields). You won't have facial expressions (Jim Carrey) or pratfalls (Chevy Chase) to bring off the effect. Just your words, sitting there on the page. So what makes for funny stuff? Let me count the ways: Unexpected turns. Dorothy Parker was queen of misdirection. Her aphorisms and sentences start off in one direction, and before you know it, she's faked you out and gone in another. Psycholinguists call this trick "surprising Broca" because that's what you're doing: fooling that part of the brain (Broca's area) that analyzes language. Here's an example: It's a small apartment, I've barely enough room to lay my hat and a few friends. Brevity is the soul of lingerie. Rich details. The more details, the funnier it gets. Here I'll turn to Joseph Heller, whose Catch-22 is a masterpiece of comedic action: The day before Yossarian met the chaplain, a stove exploded in the mess hall and set fire to one side of the kitchen. An intense heat flashed through the area. Even in Yossarian's ward, almost three hundred feet away, they could hear the roar of the blaze and the sharp cracks of flaming timber. Smoke sped past the orange-tinted windows. In about fifteen minutes the crash trucks from the airfield arrived to fight the fire. For a frantic half hour it was touch and go. Then the firemen began to get the upper hand. Suddenly there was the monotonous old drone of bombers returning from a mission, and the firemen had to roll up their hoses and speed back to the field in case one of the planes crashed and caught fire. The planes landed safely. As soon as the last one was down, the firemen wheeled their trucks around and raced back up the hill to resume their fight with the fire at the hospital. When they got there, the blaze was out. It had died of its own accord, expired completely without even an ember to be watered down, and there was nothing for the disappointed firemen to do but drink tepid coffee and hang around trying to screw the nurses. So what's the difference between the fine detail in this account ("orange-tinted windows", "tepid coffee", "three hundred feet away", "sharp cracks of falling timber") and the detail in the miserably failed attempt at a joke by Uncle Miltie at the Labor Day family barbecue? Because Heller's technique is solid. Notice how the long passage is actually a series of comedic sketches, each with a beginning, middle, and end. Each sketch rolls into the next: First we hear of the fire, and then along come the firemen, excited to have some action. They struggle with the fire, and just as they are about to win, the bombers return from their mission. Heller's use of the word "monotonous" to describe the drone underpins the monotony of the firemen's lives on the island of Pianosa--they must adhere to their routine of escorting bombers down the runway. As soon as that last bomber lands, though, they are racing back up the hill, all excited to fight a fire. By this time (and here's the punchline) however, the fire has died of its own accord, seemingly of boredom. So the firemen go back to their boring lives of drinking tepid coffee and trying to score on the nurses. Okay, what else besides structure makes something funny? The twin tools of comedy writing are exaggeration and understatement. Mark Twain is the master of exaggeration, and Life on the Mississippi is full of it: In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Lower Mississippi has shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. That is an average of a trifle over one mile and a third per year. Therefore, any calm person, who is not blind or idiotic, can see that in the old Colitic Silurian Period, just a million years ago next November, the Lower Mississippi River was upward of one million three hundred thousand miles long, and stuck out over the Gulf of Mexico like a fishing rod. At the other extreme is understatement (and its cousin, omission), and you can't beat the British at this game. Particularly, P. G. Wodehouse hardly ever raises his voice no matter how crazy Bertie Wooster's misadventures get: I sat up in bed with that rather unpleasant feeling you get sometimes that you're going to die in about five minutes. You live and die by punchlines. Notice how in that passage by Heller there's not only a general punchline (the fire dies of its own accord) but a punchline within the punchline, which contrasts the excitement of firefighting with the humdrum nature of their off-duty time. There are a couple of effective ways to execute on punchlines. One is to offer up a capstone or summary to what has come before. Jerome K. Jerome is a master at this sort of effect. In his Three Men in a Boat, the characters manage to get themselves hopelessly lost in a maze. At the end of the episode, they do get out, and the narrator remarks: Harris said he thought it was a very fine maze, so far as he was a judge, and we agreed that we would try to get George to go into it, on our way back. Another great way to deliver a punchline is via the old trick of misdirection. Again, here's Joseph Heller: The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him. And of course, there's the Bard (here from Much Ado About Nothing): BENEDICK: I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in thy eyes, and moreover, I will go with thee to thy uncle's. Once you deliver the coup-de-grace, get out! Have enough sense to go out on top. Okay, so now you've got some idea of what it takes to bring the funny when you sit down and write. Now you have to ask yourself this question: Why do I want to be funny? And: How far will I push it? The first questions is fairly complex, but it needs an answer. Are you being funny just to entertain, in a harmless Neil-Simon-script-starring-Jack-Lemmon way? Are you making a statement about society, a la Joseph Heller or Jonathan Swift? Are you making fun of an existing work or genre (think National Lampoon)? Or do you just want to be zany and unpredictable (Weird Al Yankovic, Jim Carrey)? How far to push your humor is up to you and up to the editors (and readers!) of the places where you want to sell. Some publications are more conservative, some more subversive. There's no sense in sending light humor full of literary puns to a magazine that wants raunchy, over-the-top slapstick. Now then, comes the final question: can you be funny and erotic at the same time? Quite frankly, I don't think there's anything funnier than a naked adult. Even the well-built members of the species are funny--stretch marks, tattoos, interesting birthmarks, pimples on butts, inappropriate flatulance. Even more so, people's behavior is very funny. Particularly, the things they think or say when overcome with lust--I've always thought that they'd be more effective if they weren't played straight. Erotica is too serious, in my opinion. It could use a good dose of humor (whether sprinkled with it or served up plain old funny), in my opinion. Nothing like laughter to put all of this complex sexuality stuff into proper perspective. ---
Thomas Myer is the editor of Brilliant Smut (http://www.brilliantsmut.com). He has written various humorous nonfiction articles and reviews, and is one funny guy. If you don't believe him, ask his friends. You can reach him at editor@brilliantsmut.com.
Only $3.95! As Originally Published In AbsoluteWrite.com! "Targeting Your Markets" "Fetish Writing Can Be Fattening" "Lifestyles Of The Dull And Boring" And Lots More! This Ebook Brings Together Some Of Katy's Most Popular Columns! Click on http://www.KatyTerrega.com/Porn101.html for excerpts and information or Order your ecopy at http://www.katyterrega.com/orderporn101.html =========================================== Paying Listings: BONDAGE FANTASIES: Bon-Vue Enterprises - P.O. Box 92889 - Long Beach, CA
90809-2889. E-Mail: bmajors@cyberverse.com or margie@bondage.org
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CONTACT: Ben Rogers / Managing Editor - ALL SECTIONS. National gay men's magazine featuring funny, sexy, and smart articles. Like a combination of Maxim and Cosmo for gay men. Published 10 times per year. 75% freelance written. Works with new writers. Circulation 60,000. Pays on publication. Publishes manuscripts approximately 2 months after acceptance. Purchases all rights. Responds in one week. Contact publisher for copy of magazine or purchase at Barnes & Noble, Borders, Tower, Virgin and other
stores. Obtain guidelines via e-mail, online or mail. Query before submitting.
Contest:
Includes Paying Markets! By Katy Terrega This e-book has EVERYTHING the aspiring porn writer needs to know! Click on http://www.katyterrega.com/dirtyjob.html for chapter headings and excerpts. Or order here - http://www.KatyTerrega.com/orderebook.html =========================================== I write speculative erotica (mostly fantasy, but some science fiction). I've had a few acceptances, but on the whole it's been very hard to find markets for these stories--the sf/f magazines don't want anything sexually explicit, and many of the erotic magazines don't want any genre work. I know about Circlet Press, but are there any magazines out there, in print or on the web, that would welcome (or at least consider!) this kind of work? Thanks, Renee Katy sez: I know that I've listed plenty of these markets over the last year but since I don't categorize them by subject, I wasn't able to help this reader. But I know a lot of you all write for these kinds of markets. So if you'll please email your markets to me I'll get them out to her (and in subsequent issues of the newsletter as well.) Renee, would you email me again so that I'm sure to have your address? Thanks! =========================================== (Me, too, Danielle!) --- M. Christian and Alyson Books is proud to announce the publication of the premier publication THE BURNING PEN: SEX WRITERS ON SEX WRITING. "From the beginning of time, erotic art has played an enormous role in how cultures and societies are viewed by history. Unfortunately, scant attention has been paid to the artists themselves, leaving a hole in the study of how erotica reflects the society in which it is created. In this groundbreaking work, contemporary writers of erotica reflect on how their work originates, how their sexuality shapes their words, and how their words have affected their sexuality. The Burning Pen is an exploration of writers' souls, sexuality, and sensuous creativity. The book includes a dozen essays on the art of erotic writing by renowned authors such as Felice Picano, Carol Queen, and Patrick Califia-Rice. Each essay is accompanied by the writer's own favorite erotic story-used to highlight his or her unique style and voice, as well as to demonstrate the writers' wildly diverse approaches to sexuality and language." Featuring essays and stories by top erotica writers Patrick Califia-Rice, Felice Picano, Jack Fritscher, Thomas S. Roche, Carol Queen, Shar Rednour, Cecilia Tan, Laura Antoniou, Lucy Taylor, and Simon Sheppard. For more information, see: Alyson Books: http://store.yahoo.com/alysonbooks/burpensexwri.html Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1555836151/qid=998344063/sr=2-1/ref= aps_sr_b_1_1/002-6187209-3550467 --- Joy James, of Takoma Park, MD, a long-time freelance writer who's now focusing on erotica, has just had her first stories accepted -- at Clean Sheets and Mind Caviar! --- Sascha Illyvich writes: Some of you may remember awhile back when I posted the long blatherings about "Tidal Wave", a book the New-era conspiracy writers (seven of us) had put together. Well, I get home from New Orleans and I find it's now available at Booklocker.com for purchase/download. The URL is http://www.booklocker.com/bookpages/tidalwave.html Also... December's issue of "Cyber-Mistress" will have another story of mine, "Reversal" which is another kinky story with a twist at the end. --- Mel Smith writes: A story of mine called "Human Again" has been chosen to be in the premiere issue of the new e-zine "Velvet Mafia". It should be appearing Nov 1st. --- Today's the day for our very own Magdalene Meretrix's appearance on To Tell The Truth! I for one will be glued to my television set this afternoon! You can check for the time and channel for your area at http://www.totellthetruth.tv ---
Lady Mary writes that she's just launched a website - http://www.EroticSF.com. She invites everyone to take a look! --- Congrats! If you sent me your Goings On but don't see it here, just let me know and I'll get it out. --- Tell me what's going on! Have you made a sale? Do you have a piece being published? Let me know and I'll print it here for all to see! --- I've got my revamped website up and running here - http://www.katyterrega.com/ --- Check out my column at http://www.absolutewrite.com/ on
- what else?! - writing porn. This week, rather than write something new I cheated and put in a book excerpt: Choosing A Psuedonym. Check it out here - =========================================== The term refers to a relatioship between a younger woman and an older man. In the teen mags that would mean a teenage girl and a 30-and-up guy. In Variations, however, it more likely means a twenty or thirty year old woman with a 40/50/60 ish guy. --- Send me your questions! I'll answer the most common ones here, and if I don't know the answer, I'll do my best to find a pro who does. (Of course, failing that, I'll ask y'all for help...)
Only $3.95! As Originally Published In AbsoluteWrite.com! "Targeting Your Markets" "Fetish Writing Can Be Fattening" "Lifestyles Of The Dull And Boring" And Lots More! This Ebook Brings Together Some Of Katy's Most Popular Columns! Click on http://www.KatyTerrega.com/Porn101.html for excerpts and information or Order your ecopy at http://www.katyterrega.com/orderporn101.html =========================================== Send Me Your Stories And Ideas! I'm looking for essays/articles that will inspire and/or instruct other porn writers. Success stories, how to break into certain markets, unique views on the genre, etc. Around 800 words is good, although I'm flexible. I'd love articles on specific markets. There are so many sub-genres of porn and it's hard to know the subtleties of each. If you've got a specialty, from BDSM to Watersports to Leg Sex to Amputeeism, feel free to share your knowledge. You can either suggest a topic (query) or send something whole. I'll get back to you within a week as to whether or not I'll be able to use it. I pay with a copy of the updated 'It's A Dirty Job...Writing Porn For Fun And Profit' or 'Porn 101: 12 Essays On The Art Of Writing Porn And Erotica,' plus a lengthy bio and url if you'd like.
Do you have a product or service that might interest over 850 (and growing) writers? Advertise here (six lines maximum) for only $5.00! E-mail me if you're interested. =========================================== IT'S A DIRTY JOB...WRITING PORN FOR FUN AND PROFIT! INCLUDES PAYING MARKETS! By Katy Terrega. This e-book has EVERYTHING the aspiring porn writer needs to know! Order here - http://www.KatyTerrega.com/orderebook.html Or click on http://www.katyterrega.com/dirtyjob.html for chapter headings and excerpts. =========================================== PORN 101: 12 ESSAYS ON THE ART OF WRITING PORN AND EROTICA! Some of Katy's most popular columns, originally published in AbsoluteWrite.com! Only 3.95! Click Here - http://www.KatyTerrega.com/Porn101.html for excerpts and info or Order Here - http://www.KatyTerrega.com/OrderPorn101.html ==============END CLASSIFIEDS============== ========================================== Writing Porn For Fun and Profit! The Bi-Weekly E-Letter Copyright 2001 - All Rights Reserved Katy Terrega To Subscribe - Send any
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